Why are so many of us terrified of being told no? We didn’t start out that way.

When I think back to when I was a kid, I was told no on a daily basis…repeatedly.

“Can I have a biscuit?” “No.” “Can I stay up late?”“Nope.” “Can I shave the dog?” “No!”

In fact, many questions were asked with the clear expectation of a no but with the hope of a distant yet not impossible yes. Sometimes, let’s be honest, I was just pushing it. But the fact remains, the thought of getting a no didn’t stop me from asking.

It’s hard to say when, what, where or why, but since then things have most certainly changed. I have gone from a keen seeker of a ‘yes’ to the staunch avoider of ‘the no’.

And I don’t think I’m alone. Many of us will do just about anything to avoid rejection.

The problem is, although it’s sometimes more comfortable to avoid a no, in business it can cost us and our profits dearly.

Why?

Because the fear of rejection drives us away from revenue producing behaviours and towards activities that cost a lot more and don’t generate anywhere near the same kind of return.

Like asking clients for referrals.

Logically it’s an obvious thing to do. Not only do they know, like and trust us but our clients have an intimate understanding of what we do, how we do it and the results we get. Emotionally, however, it ranks up there with cold calling.

In fact many business owners would prefer to spend £1,000s trying to woo complete strangers than ask their clients for introductions.

Even though our emotional blocks might be difficult to overcome, the answer to overcoming them isn’t. In fact, it’s really simple, especially when it comes to getting referrals from your clients…get someone else to do it for you.

If you have ever got someone you trust to ask a girl or guy out for you, you’ll know what I mean. Because they have no emotional attachment to the result and don’t care if they get a no, they have no problem asking. What’s more, they can sell you in ways that you could never dream of doing for yourself.

We do it for our clients all the time. We usually have a legitimate reason for the meeting with their customer. We might be organising a case study or doing a customer audit. These exercises are excellent because they create the perfect atmosphere for getting referrals.

The discussion reminds the customer of the great work that our client does for them and the value they have driven into their organisation. When people are reminded of something good you have done for them, it generates the perfect positive emotion required for making them feel comfortable introducing you into their network.

It’s up to you whether you go for it or not but I can’t think of a quicker or simpler way of winning more clients.